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My Super Bowl Predictions

PREDICTION 1: The game is going to suck. Probably low scoring. Lots of 3 and outs. You’ll lose interest after the halftime show.

PREDICTION 2: The commercials are going to suck. Actually, they’re going to be OK but they won’t blow anybody away.

PREDICTION 3: Your party is going to suck. Here’s why.

PREDICTION 4: You’re going to be cranky on the following Monday after spending all night at a crappy party watching a crappy game with crappy commercials while drinking too much.

BTW, the reason Super Bowl ads suck every year is because they’ve turned into nothing  more than creativity and vanity contests. CEOs love to tell people they have ads on the Super Bowl. It looks good on a resume too. Creativity is great and all, but the reason’s Apple’s 1984, the first Super Bowl ad, was so great was because it changed the equation. It was the first ad to be run only once changing media, production and creative duties for the most WTF value. How many ads will change the equation this year? Probably none.

The objective for a Super Bowl ad is to get everybody talking about the advertised product the next morning.

-What if Las Vegas tourism were to run an ad in the first quarter telling people to tweet the final score. The winner would get a free trip to Vegas immediately after the game. They would show up at the winners house during an ad they would run at the end of the game.

-What if McDonald’s we’re to say their Egg McMuffin is so awesome, it’s better than beer! And, announce they’ll be giving away free Egg McMuffins the next  morning between 6-7am. So don’t drink to much or your hungover ass won’t get out of bed in time to get one.

-What if Bud Light were to donate all their ad time to local cab companies so drunk consumers of their beer will have safe rides home?

But, they won’t change any equations. They’ll just use celebrities, animals and pop cultures references (like Twilight and Jersey Shore) to get a few chuckles instead.

I know, Pepsi tried to change the equation by using last year’s Super Bowl budget to Refresh Everything. But, that was kind of lame.

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