Next time you’re in a presentation and someone says “Our research has shown….”
Look around the room. Notice the eyes glazing over or the people checking their phones or the ones who just leave. Someone is about to bore the crap out of you with useless facts and statistics meant only to comfort the low man on the totem pole.
Research is useless once you’ve realized that all people are all pretty much the same.
To quote Whitesnake, “We may be human, but we’re still animals.”
Below are the most conclusive findings about mainstream consumers that you will ever need:
We all want to spend more money while making more money and saving more money to spend later—all in that order.
We all want to eat more food that tastes good while losing weight.
We all want to be loved by others. Do we want to love others? Sometimes.
We all want bigger homes in nice neighborhoods with cool stuff to show our friends. After our friends have seen our stuff, we want them to leave.
We all want cars with more room that take up less space and use less gas while still being considered stylish.
We want bigger boners, bigger boobs and babies.
We want to look more attractive to attract other attractive people to impress the ones we don’t care about.
Did I leave anything out?
As soon as you realize that most of humanity is made up of selfish assholes, it’s much easier to understand them and sell them shit they don’t need.
